Tonight
by Wolf-Phantom
Summary: Harry thinks about what is expected of him and decide' it is too much to bear, Lyrics from Simple Plan. Contains SelfHarm


**AN: Well, this is my first fic, it'll probably be short, but who knows what path this story will follow? Enjoy anyway, I hope you like it, R&R. Lyrics are from Simple Plan 'I'm Just A Kid'. If you don't like depressed Harry, don't read! Woohoo, I love angsty Harry! wags tail**

_I woke up it was 7  
I waited till 11  
Just to figure out that no one would call  
I think i got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them  
What's another night all alone?  
When your spending everyday on your own  
And here it goes  
_

Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, was sitting on the floor in the corner of his room in Number 12 Grimmauld Place, letting tears of grief slide down his face. It's always the people I care about that have to die, my parents, Cedric, Sirius and now Dumbledore... I don't think I can survive this, Harry thought to himself.

It's all my fault.  
And though I have people who surround me... really, I am alone.

All they want me to be is a hero, their savior, needed only in their time of peril... someone easily forgotten...

And I don't think I can take it anymore... I'm only a kid... not a hero.

_I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare  
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair  
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is  
Having more fun than me  
Tonight..._

In the opposite corner of the room, something sparkled in the dim moonlight flowing through the room's only window. Harry stared at the object... following it's sharp curves and points with his eyes.  
A shard of glass from Sirius's old mirror.  
Harry slowly dragged himself across the ground, the floorboards squeaking slightly. Reaching out, he grasped the shard, observing it as though one would a beautiful work of art. Slowly he brought it to his outstretched arm, just below his wrist. He gently pricked his skin once, savouring the little sting of pain it brought him, watching a tiny droplet of blood slide to the floor...

_And maybe when the night is dead, I'll crawl into my bed  
Staring at these 4 walls again  
I'll try to think about the last time, I had a good time  
Everyone's got somewhere to go  
And they're gonna leave me here on my own and here it goes_

I'm all alone.

It's not fair... they expect too much of me...

"Do it for the Wizarding World, Harry... fight for them, save them."

Why?

Why me? Why only me?

Why must everyone leave me... I'm still only a child, I can't do it alone...

They will leave me - Alone.

My life has always been a living Hell, shut away from love and happiness even as a small boy... and still, I am denied of it. They don't think I need it, they think I'm strong... heros' don't need love do they, they only have to fight, to save everyone except themselves...

And now.. now that's what I have to do, save them...

No, I don't want this life...

I can not hang on to a life I do not want... not anymore...

_What the hell is wrong with me?  
Don't fit in with anybody  
How did this happen to me?  
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep  
And every night is the worst night ever _

They want me to be a perfect little savior, to rescue them all, to grow up because they need me to.

Harry pushed the blade a little deeper before slowly sliding it down his arm.  
The pain was beautiful, Harry closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation, all his troubles disappearing for a meer moment.

Too bad I'll never be what they want me to be... I'll never be their hero.

They don't care for me, Harry. The real me. The me who's only still a kid.

They only care for The-Boy-Who-Lived... someone who has never really existed in the first place.

Harry brought the blade back to the top of his wrist, sliding it down again, over and over. Crimson blood pooling on the floor as Harry smiled.  
Slowly, Harry's vision begun to fade, darkness taking it's hold over him. He slowly closed his eyes, slumping over to his side. As his breathing slowed, his thoughts wandered to the people who cared for him... hoping they would understand. Maybe then, they would finally realise that he was no hero, nor savior.  
He took his last breath, before letting it sigh out in relief.  
Then he was gone, not as a hero, or a savior.  
Tonight, he was just himself. Harry.  
Tonight, he was just a kid.

_I'm all alone tonight  
Nobody cares tonight  
Cause I'm just a kid tonight _

**AN: Well, hope you thought it was ok. It's only short, I still have to work up the patience the write a long one… one day sigh. Oh well.  
Thanks for reading, Your Wolfish friend,  
Wolf-Phantom**


End file.
